…or at least figure out how to do it. 😉
Well, it’s October… I love Autumn. I love September – December the best. Usually, it’s because I am not the biggest fan of summer. (I know, that’s when the garden grows!) But here’s the thing: I really hate the heat. I run hot all year round, so in summer, I am doubly hot. Tracy + heat = Grumpy Tracy. (Ask anyone!)
This year, it was different. This past summer was one of the nicest I can remember in at least 15 years. The temperatures were generally pleasant. We had a little more rain than we would have liked, but for the most part, it was a lovely summer.
But back to October. It’s so nice to begin to tuck in for the fall and winter seasons. Soups, sweaters, holidays… All those little things we do during this time of year that we look forward to doing.
The Past Few Years
The past few years have been good, and yet, not without difficulties. Mr. Gordon and I have had what I would describe as a particularly busy and relatively chaotic three years. We’ve moved twice (we are here to stay); there have been employment changes for both of us (one for him, two for me); we’ve really changed our (home)lifestyle – not complaining, it’s just very different; we said goodbye to our two boys (William and Mystery); after 15-ish years, we got married (This was one of those good things! 🙂 We eloped to the back porch, small ceremony.); and we’ve dealt with all of those everyday life challenges that we all face in one way or another: aging parents, we’re aging, sibling squabbles, aching backs, mid-life “what the hells?” …and so on.
Okay, before I continue on, enjoy some photos!
Above, our wedding carrot cake: Best. Date. Ever. = our first date. It was the best date ever. We’re still talking about it 16 years later!
Below: My Mom’s 80th Birthday Party this past summer.
A Good Life And…
And it IS a good life. I think Mr. Gordon and I have more blessings than most. And still I am feeling out of whack these days. I can’t seem to wrangle my routine into something manageable. And here’s the kicker: I am really tired. I can’t seem to move beyond this wicked tiredness. I’ve felt this way for a few years now. Is this just a part of getting older? I am approaching “my late 40s” – I didn’t think I would feel this tired already. I was expecting this around… oh, somewhere in my middle 70s, maybe. 😉
Where this really seems to affect me is after work. That’s where I am really struggling. I make dinner – or join Gordon when he makes dinner – we eat, and then I crash. I read or queue up Netflix. Energy for the day is spent. THAT’s where it’s really nailing me. I feel like I could be doing something more in that free time, but even my brain is tired. (I think it’s my job – a lot of mental acrobatics during the day.) Plus, I’m parked in front of the computer for 9 hours. It really saps my energy. Mr. Gordon feels the same way about riding the desk all day.
In the evening, I just want to STOP. It’s like my body is this factory and a whistle blows at 7pm and everyone running everything goes home. (Which granted, is not the way factories typically work – I know, but apparently my body/brain is not inhabited by the night shift.)
Text break – you need another picture so that you can carry on!
Above: What a find! This past September (August?) Mr. Gordon and I found this Pennsylvania House cherry hutch at a restore store we stopped at during our weekly errands. I won’t even tell you what we paid for it, but we got a smoking deal. And, we love it.
Bringing in the harvest also takes a lot of time starting in August (cucumbers), then in September and October (mostly September, though). Everything starts to ripen at once: tomatoes especially at the end. The kitchen has spent more days in a mess than clean for about six weeks now.
I used to be SO planful. Ridiculously so. But I’m thinking that’s what I need to do now. Can I get back to that Tracy? I don’t know. This Tracy is different than that Tracy. In some ways, she’s better. In others, she really needs to work on some things. 😉
At the end of the day, and as I’ve typed this during the last two mornings (I’ve written, deleted, written some more, edited), I have come to the conclusion that I am missing three important pieces to this puzzle: Motivation, Time, and Energy.
I have the know-how (pretty much). I have the tools and resources (we do okay financially – by no means swimming in it, but we do okay). I have the experience. I do have a decent amount of time. Although, I’ll admit it: I have always felt a lack of time in my life. Always. “Never enough time.” This has been an issue for me my whole life. Real or imagined, I have always felt that I never get enough time. I really wish I could change that about myself (in a good, happy way, without catastrophe – feel like I need to add that caveat). 🙂
So what do I do next? Being the reader, the researcher, and the planner that I am, I suppose it’s time to actually finalize a new plan and then do it. The motivation is just going to have to come from within. The energy for it? Erm… Too bad you can’t buy energy. 🙂 I suppose I’ll just have to figure out that one, too.
Well, let’s leave you with one more picture before I close. Hmm… What do I have in my folder…?
Ah yes, some pretties from canning season. By the way, my husband is really awesome and often takes the lead when we are canning. Below you’ll see dill pickles, sweet pickle chunks, diced tomatoes, pasta sauce, corn, and beets. We store most of our canning results in the basement, but one has to store such lovely garden harvests in the kitchen hutch. For motivation. 😉
Okay, I’m off! Thanks for listening / reading. Much appreciated!